Thursday, July 24, 2008

Thursday Thirteen ~ 2nd Edition

Thirteen Things That Should Be Included In The Baby Handbook

1. When you're pregnant and excited to buy all those cool toys you think your baby will just have to have, don't by them. In a year your house will be cluttered with toys from other people who think your baby needed those toys too. Save your money and buy yourself some sanity. You can actually use that later.

2. When potty training your kids don't ever take the little potty filled with poop and dump it into the garbage disposal. You'll end up getting some rather interesting looks from your mother-in-law and have to explain that it is never a good idea to eat anything that falls into your sink.

3. When your kids learn to take take their diapers off and begin to smear crap all over their cribs- don't waste your time with the duct tape. Your kids will look like they are ready to be mailed to the North Pole and you'll receive offensive looks from your friends who don't have kids. Instead buy a footed pj one size too big and put it on the toddler backwards. They can't reach the zipper and you never have to worry about finding them naked in bed again.

4. If you want baby momentos such as the stump of umblical cord that falls off a few weeks after birth, tape it immediately into the baby book, don't put in on the nightstand unless you want to find your dog eating it. How's that for a memory!

5. When your kids can feed themselves, put them in their highchair in their diaper (clothes removed) so that their food can get everywhere and you can get them dressed afterwards without having to spray their clothes with stain remover. Saves time, money, and sanity.

6. Kids seem to eat anything that looks like a cupcake. If there's certain veggies your kids don't like, shred them, and bake them in muffins.

7. When traveling with your kids, a DVD player in car can make any trip better. I bought one that plays one movie on two screens. It has made life in the car wonderful.

8. This one works for my kids but may not be the solution for everyone. If you want to bathe with your babies but would rather not be sitting in their pee try putting them in the tub first, spray their feet with a little cold water, typically my kids then go pee, I wash it down the drain and fill up the tub with warm water. There's still a good chance they may pee again, but at least it won't be as much as when they peed the first time.

9. Be careful what you feed your kids or they could poop blue.

10. When you're pregnant and eating for two, that actually means one woman and baby, not two sumo wrestlers....unless you want to keep the extra weight for the winter. I gained 65 lbs. with each pregnancy. It was hard by the end to make it up stairs.

11. If you started out flat-chested, nursing will not make your boobs bigger forever, it's only temporary and sad when you're done that they are even smaller. I'd never trade in breastfeeding though. It was the best bonding experience ever.

12. Dad's are not 'babysitting' if the mom is out of the house. They are parents. They are parenting. Often times I hear dad's say this and I ask them, "oh I pay my sitter $7.oo an hour- what's your rate?"

13. If you can't get your kids to eat vegetables such as carrots, put them through the juicer and make popsicles. Lots of things taste good frozen...yogurt, bananas... If you've made it to the bottom of this post, thanks for reading and happy TT.


Elisa said...

Hi, great post...
Thanks for the laughs.

Picturing of Life said...

great list of your t13. my son is now on potty training :D

Visit my T13 too : 13 things that happened...... Thanks

Meju said...

I love 12, I said that a thousand times it seems..."YOu are not babysitting , you are the other parent...remember"?!

Toni said...

I am so with you on number 12. I had a boss that use to say that, "I've got to babysit tonight", I would always reply you don't "babysit" your own kids...

Drove me crazy.

Happy TT!

Pamela Kramer said...

OMG - ROFL - Great post for TT. I love #1. Thanks for stopping by.

Chuck said...

I'm still laughing about the blue poop comment. Very funny *big grin*

Hey, come get your award if you like: Thanks for Play’n


SandyCarlson said...

You cracked me up! That toy advice is spot on. And your potty training thoughts reminded me why growing past that stage was oh so good. And delightful to look back on.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

hi there! thanks for visiting me and commenting! i loved this post. i sure wish i had been able to read it 43 years ago! especially a few of them! poopie parties sucked! oh and not to discourage you but the older you get the longer and emptier your boobs will get, don't worry though, just roll them up and stuff 'em in you bra and it looks like you have plump ones!

smiles, bee

Michelle said...

LOVE IT! It rings true, so true...

Happy T13!

Anonymous said...

I don't have kids yet but your 13 were great! # 4 cracked me up. Thanks!


Qtpies7 said...

Those are great! I had the poop smearing no matter what I did. I finally figured out the jammies backwards, but it was hard in the summer during naps.