Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Divine Intervention
People are often conflicted when it comes to believing in God or in a higher power. Some people believe everything happens for a reason, it is their destiny and it has all ready been decided by a predetermined plan while other people believe that perhaps it is just coincidental the way funny little things happen at just the opportune time...
Here's an example: A friend of mine FTLH wanted a baby forever. Being that she is gay this wasn't an easy task. As she came to a point of almost surrendering to being childless a man came forth, donated his fresh sperm and whamo...she was pregnant. She delivered a healthy boy but her dream wasn't fulfilled. She always wanted 2 kids. Now the first man to give her his sperm had moved away so she either had to start over at the sperm bank again which left her unpregnant the first time or find another man. When she was ready to get pregnant the second time, sure enough a man came forward who would help her and... whamo she was pregnant again with a second baby... a girl. Now she is a believer of a higher power...not necessary God but she believes some thing's out there.
I have to say that it has to be some kind of Divine intervention. There has to be something out there that knows what we need when we needed it. Sometimes yes, it does make us wait but I think there is a reason for that too.
So the reason I'm even bringing this up in the first place is because last week when I posted this about my neighbor moving away I later received an email from one of my BFF's that I hadn't talked to in over 3 years. Here I was saddened that my neighbor friend and the girl's friend was moving and my old friend Jelly reappeared as if it were controlled by some kind of divine intervention. Now Jelly is a big believer in God. She'd believe it was God's work that brought us back together. She prays about stuff like that. I pray to win the lotto and that my period comes every month... And yes, some months I do have to wait to see if it is in fact coming...
So if that wasn't weird enough on the last day my neighbor was in her house, she packed her last bag and drove away and moments later I spoke with Jelly on the phone. I am totally thrilled to have Jelly back in my life but the timing of it was just uncanny. I felt like the last three years was shortened to maybe a few days since we last spoke. We caught up really quickly and I can't wait to see her in person. The one thing that I missed most about us not talking was the fact that she could make me belly laugh like no one else. We'd talk about something so silly we'd be crying laughing. It's been a good 3 years since I have felt that way. And it/she came at just the right time...the time when I needed her the most. Again everything happens for a reason. I needed a friend and a friend appeared.
Ok so to top off all of this weirdness I have had this 3 year aura around me for years. I had a boyfriend in college for 3 years and then I kicked him to the curb. FTLH and I stopped talking after college for 3 years at which point I called her and we realized we were mad at each other for two totally different things... weird I know and way too complicated to get into. Jelly and I didn't speak for 3 years... Another friend of mine lives nearby actually and we stopped talking just because she became way too difficult to be friends with but I reconnected with her through Facebook after...yes...you guessed it 3 years... and there's been some other things that I rather just not mention. Can there be forces out there that have helped me along the way but somehow they have to follow the 3 year guide. I don't know.
All I know is that I am happy that FTLH and I have stayed best friends for so long and our kids have gotten to grow up together. That has meant a lot to me. I think she is a remarkable person, a great mom, a true friend, and someone who I know is reading this and had better take her bed rest seriously or I'll have to drive down to her house and mess up her cabinets. I can find great places to hide her toothpaste:) You know I love you. AND I am also happy to have my other best friend Jelly is back in my life, this time for good, so we can laugh out loud at things that aren't even funny and have our kids meet for the first and not last time. They too need to grow up knowing each other because she's like a sister and her kids are my like my girl's cousins. It's important that family stays together. I love her too.
Call it what you will, divine intervention, God, coincidence, pure luck, fate. I call it friendship and I am happy to have it.
Here's an example: A friend of mine FTLH wanted a baby forever. Being that she is gay this wasn't an easy task. As she came to a point of almost surrendering to being childless a man came forth, donated his fresh sperm and whamo...she was pregnant. She delivered a healthy boy but her dream wasn't fulfilled. She always wanted 2 kids. Now the first man to give her his sperm had moved away so she either had to start over at the sperm bank again which left her unpregnant the first time or find another man. When she was ready to get pregnant the second time, sure enough a man came forward who would help her and... whamo she was pregnant again with a second baby... a girl. Now she is a believer of a higher power...not necessary God but she believes some thing's out there.
I have to say that it has to be some kind of Divine intervention. There has to be something out there that knows what we need when we needed it. Sometimes yes, it does make us wait but I think there is a reason for that too.
So the reason I'm even bringing this up in the first place is because last week when I posted this about my neighbor moving away I later received an email from one of my BFF's that I hadn't talked to in over 3 years. Here I was saddened that my neighbor friend and the girl's friend was moving and my old friend Jelly reappeared as if it were controlled by some kind of divine intervention. Now Jelly is a big believer in God. She'd believe it was God's work that brought us back together. She prays about stuff like that. I pray to win the lotto and that my period comes every month... And yes, some months I do have to wait to see if it is in fact coming...
So if that wasn't weird enough on the last day my neighbor was in her house, she packed her last bag and drove away and moments later I spoke with Jelly on the phone. I am totally thrilled to have Jelly back in my life but the timing of it was just uncanny. I felt like the last three years was shortened to maybe a few days since we last spoke. We caught up really quickly and I can't wait to see her in person. The one thing that I missed most about us not talking was the fact that she could make me belly laugh like no one else. We'd talk about something so silly we'd be crying laughing. It's been a good 3 years since I have felt that way. And it/she came at just the right time...the time when I needed her the most. Again everything happens for a reason. I needed a friend and a friend appeared.
Ok so to top off all of this weirdness I have had this 3 year aura around me for years. I had a boyfriend in college for 3 years and then I kicked him to the curb. FTLH and I stopped talking after college for 3 years at which point I called her and we realized we were mad at each other for two totally different things... weird I know and way too complicated to get into. Jelly and I didn't speak for 3 years... Another friend of mine lives nearby actually and we stopped talking just because she became way too difficult to be friends with but I reconnected with her through Facebook after...yes...you guessed it 3 years... and there's been some other things that I rather just not mention. Can there be forces out there that have helped me along the way but somehow they have to follow the 3 year guide. I don't know.
All I know is that I am happy that FTLH and I have stayed best friends for so long and our kids have gotten to grow up together. That has meant a lot to me. I think she is a remarkable person, a great mom, a true friend, and someone who I know is reading this and had better take her bed rest seriously or I'll have to drive down to her house and mess up her cabinets. I can find great places to hide her toothpaste:) You know I love you. AND I am also happy to have my other best friend Jelly is back in my life, this time for good, so we can laugh out loud at things that aren't even funny and have our kids meet for the first and not last time. They too need to grow up knowing each other because she's like a sister and her kids are my like my girl's cousins. It's important that family stays together. I love her too.
Call it what you will, divine intervention, God, coincidence, pure luck, fate. I call it friendship and I am happy to have it.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
When it rains...
We break out yet another box of tissue. I blame myself really. Just 2 days ago I was bragging (to myself) that I guess that flu shot I got for my girls really does work because look at that- they are not sick...
And then whamo... by the end of yesterday both girls had the sniffles. To end the night, Olivia began coughing and crying so hard that she ended up sleeping with us. Well she slept and grinded her teeth, we just grinned and bared it.
Today both of my girls are whinny and sick. We are on our way to the doctor in an hour. Olivia is rubbing her ear and crying at every little thing. She has rubbed her nose so raw it's bright red. I feel for her and at the same time I can feel it building in my throat right now.
So I now know what we have planned for next week... yea sounds like fun right? Lucky Dave will be sitting comfortably in the silence of his office without a nose to wipe or a cry to hug. Secretly I am so jealous of him that he gets to escape the sick days at home but someone has to work for us to survive.
And then whamo... by the end of yesterday both girls had the sniffles. To end the night, Olivia began coughing and crying so hard that she ended up sleeping with us. Well she slept and grinded her teeth, we just grinned and bared it.
Today both of my girls are whinny and sick. We are on our way to the doctor in an hour. Olivia is rubbing her ear and crying at every little thing. She has rubbed her nose so raw it's bright red. I feel for her and at the same time I can feel it building in my throat right now.
So I now know what we have planned for next week... yea sounds like fun right? Lucky Dave will be sitting comfortably in the silence of his office without a nose to wipe or a cry to hug. Secretly I am so jealous of him that he gets to escape the sick days at home but someone has to work for us to survive.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Farewell
Our neighborhood babysitter is moving away this week...where we don't know. She doesn't know either but hopefully it will be to somewhere permanent and not to a shelter or her car. Her husband lost his job tree climbing and trimming last summer and she is legally blind and can not work outside of her home. She receives government money (SSI) but it is not enough to cover the rent. So they have been living in their rented house without making any payments for the last five months.
It's been a long five months and many things have transpired in that time frame. My neighbor lost her power for a short period of time and we had her family over for dinners. Other neighbors allowed them do their laundry at their house while they were at work. Everyone in our neighborhood that is friends with her offered her something to help ease the situation. Her full-time babysitting gig that she had for a set of twin girls fell through when their own mom became very ill with a liver problem. She too lost her house in the process, moved to an apartment, and became hospitalized several times due to a failing kidney. The outlook for the twin's mom is grim and most likely a transplant is looking bleak. Through it all my neighbor has maintained a pretty positive outlook on life and her situation. I have to give her props because had it been me going through an eviction without any external family around and without any opportunity to earn money I would have become a basket case. She, on the other hand, seems almost immune to the road that lies ahead.
She told me once she has to stay positive so that her daughter doesn't see her cry otherwise it would be difficult for her to go to school everyday and stay focused. I was impressed by this but also very worried and panicked for her. Every day she would tell me that she called another set of apartment listings, was refused section 8, couldn't qualify for public housing, and was called again by the landlord who was again asking for all of his money. I knew at some point her luck at staying in the house would come to an end but I guess it my mind it seemed different than the reality that actually existed.
Over the past weekend I had heard from another neighbor that there were trucks in front of the house. So I called my neighbor and she told me about the packing and moving that had been occurring. She said that she had another day or two and then they would have all of their belongings out. It still seemed surreal to me. She's lived in that house since I moved into mine. She's a big part of the neighborhood. It was starting to feel like an end of an era but still not totally real to me. She said she found a place for her daughter to go but as for she and her husband and the family dog it was still undecided...possibly a friend's house, a hotel, the car...somewhere.
I can't wrap my head around all of this. I can't imagine packing up my belongings and not having any idea where I was going. This is the first person I ever let watch my daughter when she had just turned a year old. I remember it like it was yesterday. We had went to dinner for my birthday at a restaurant that has since closed down and I remember how worried and freaked out I was to leave Liv at home with a stranger. Today I would leave both my girls with her and know that I was leaving them with a friend.
I went over to check out the progress today. There's still 2 days worth of stuff to move out but it's do-able. The landlord has called her 3 times today asking if they are out yet. The pressure is definitely on and I could feel it in the house. But the real feeling I got when I walked around the house was that my friend was moving, not my neighbor, not the girl's sitter, but my friend and it was sad. I get know why she walked around as if nothing was happening. It's way more than just moving to somewhere- it's leaving behind the things that can't be trapped behind the four walls of that rundown house. A lot of her friends are here, the kids are here, her memories are here. Every day my girls ask if she's coming over or if that's her voice they hear outside. One day my daughters' memories of her presence will fade and that's sad to me because she loves them dearly and they love her.
I will miss my friend when she finishes her move to where ever. Hopefully it will be somewhere close so she can still hangout sometimes. But if it isn't I wish her and her family well and I hope life turns around for the best for them.
It's been a long five months and many things have transpired in that time frame. My neighbor lost her power for a short period of time and we had her family over for dinners. Other neighbors allowed them do their laundry at their house while they were at work. Everyone in our neighborhood that is friends with her offered her something to help ease the situation. Her full-time babysitting gig that she had for a set of twin girls fell through when their own mom became very ill with a liver problem. She too lost her house in the process, moved to an apartment, and became hospitalized several times due to a failing kidney. The outlook for the twin's mom is grim and most likely a transplant is looking bleak. Through it all my neighbor has maintained a pretty positive outlook on life and her situation. I have to give her props because had it been me going through an eviction without any external family around and without any opportunity to earn money I would have become a basket case. She, on the other hand, seems almost immune to the road that lies ahead.
She told me once she has to stay positive so that her daughter doesn't see her cry otherwise it would be difficult for her to go to school everyday and stay focused. I was impressed by this but also very worried and panicked for her. Every day she would tell me that she called another set of apartment listings, was refused section 8, couldn't qualify for public housing, and was called again by the landlord who was again asking for all of his money. I knew at some point her luck at staying in the house would come to an end but I guess it my mind it seemed different than the reality that actually existed.
Over the past weekend I had heard from another neighbor that there were trucks in front of the house. So I called my neighbor and she told me about the packing and moving that had been occurring. She said that she had another day or two and then they would have all of their belongings out. It still seemed surreal to me. She's lived in that house since I moved into mine. She's a big part of the neighborhood. It was starting to feel like an end of an era but still not totally real to me. She said she found a place for her daughter to go but as for she and her husband and the family dog it was still undecided...possibly a friend's house, a hotel, the car...somewhere.
I can't wrap my head around all of this. I can't imagine packing up my belongings and not having any idea where I was going. This is the first person I ever let watch my daughter when she had just turned a year old. I remember it like it was yesterday. We had went to dinner for my birthday at a restaurant that has since closed down and I remember how worried and freaked out I was to leave Liv at home with a stranger. Today I would leave both my girls with her and know that I was leaving them with a friend.
I went over to check out the progress today. There's still 2 days worth of stuff to move out but it's do-able. The landlord has called her 3 times today asking if they are out yet. The pressure is definitely on and I could feel it in the house. But the real feeling I got when I walked around the house was that my friend was moving, not my neighbor, not the girl's sitter, but my friend and it was sad. I get know why she walked around as if nothing was happening. It's way more than just moving to somewhere- it's leaving behind the things that can't be trapped behind the four walls of that rundown house. A lot of her friends are here, the kids are here, her memories are here. Every day my girls ask if she's coming over or if that's her voice they hear outside. One day my daughters' memories of her presence will fade and that's sad to me because she loves them dearly and they love her.
I will miss my friend when she finishes her move to where ever. Hopefully it will be somewhere close so she can still hangout sometimes. But if it isn't I wish her and her family well and I hope life turns around for the best for them.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
If SHE can do it, so can I
Ava just had to skate too after watching her big sister roll around the living room. She believes if Olivia can do something, she can too. Most of the time she's right!
And here's big sister struttin' her stuff...
So far Olivia's learned to let go and skate back and forth between Dave and I. She chants, "WHEEE!" as I close my eyes in terror. It's like a bad car wreck waiting to happen. I hold my breath and hopes she makes it back to Dave. Olivia is unrelentless and without fear. She must get that from Dave.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Toe Jam
Why do we always have to get our stinkin' cars smogged? Can't the world and or the DMV focus on other pressing issues like which celebrity has ballooned up to a whopping size 4 or the fact that the State can owe us an IOU without giving us interest accumulated on our tax returns but if we owe the State one stupid penny they will start calculating their interest from the date of our births. And what's up with the ridiculous 'Test only' smog sites that charge almost $100 just to tell you you have FAILED THE TEST and you have to go somewhere else to have some dude tweak your crap so that you can drive back to the first place and wait with baited breath to hear whether or not you have PASSED or FAILED again? Give me a break. Please, just let one thing go right the first time. Oh and yeah...we failed the test. Hooray for us...not really.
So now you're probably thinking how in the world does this relate to my kids since this is a kid focused blog. And as I continue to type I am watching Ava who is picking the 'dirt' sock fuzz from between her toes and I ask you, "how does this all relate to my girls?" I don't know.
I do know that Ava has developed a weird fascination with her sock fuzz and every chance she has she rips off her socks to pick out the 'dirt'. Even better is that she wants me to help her remove the dirt. "Look mommy, DIRT!!!" She spreads her toes apart as wide as she can and hunkers down over her squishy little feet and discovers a fortune. It's been going on for a few months now. I thought perhaps she would get bored and quit but apparently not yet.
The other thing I know is that today is Valentine's Day and my 3 favorite cupids are all roaming the house pursuing their own interests. We started off this morning with the 4 of us in bed eating heart shaped cookies that we baked for daddy a few days ago. We gave each other our Valentine cards and Olivia gave Dave the project she made for him with scissors and tape. Then the rest of the morning began as usual with some breakfast, a story or two, and of course a puzzle. It was nice. If only I could freeze time I'd freeze moments like those.
So now you're probably thinking how in the world does this relate to my kids since this is a kid focused blog. And as I continue to type I am watching Ava who is picking the 'dirt' sock fuzz from between her toes and I ask you, "how does this all relate to my girls?" I don't know.
I do know that Ava has developed a weird fascination with her sock fuzz and every chance she has she rips off her socks to pick out the 'dirt'. Even better is that she wants me to help her remove the dirt. "Look mommy, DIRT!!!" She spreads her toes apart as wide as she can and hunkers down over her squishy little feet and discovers a fortune. It's been going on for a few months now. I thought perhaps she would get bored and quit but apparently not yet.
The other thing I know is that today is Valentine's Day and my 3 favorite cupids are all roaming the house pursuing their own interests. We started off this morning with the 4 of us in bed eating heart shaped cookies that we baked for daddy a few days ago. We gave each other our Valentine cards and Olivia gave Dave the project she made for him with scissors and tape. Then the rest of the morning began as usual with some breakfast, a story or two, and of course a puzzle. It was nice. If only I could freeze time I'd freeze moments like those.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Wordless WednesdayTuesday, February 10, 2009
What is sleep anyway?
The big girl bed that Ava is now sleeping in has become more of a punishment for Dave and I than a milestone in her life. She has adapted quite well to the going to bed part. She lays down and within minutes she is fast asleep. Sounds good right? No. Not at all. She goes to sleep just fine, it's staying asleep that has become cumbersome.
5 AM every morning we have a visitor who is very awake and alert and doesn't want to go back to sleep. "I no like my bed," she mutters. Oh well, that is where you sleep go back and come back in 2 hours. If only it was that easy.
And now the little munchkin has discovered that her new found freedom also allows her private access to her closet, her drawers, and all of her toys in her room. It looks like a tiny blizzard swept through her room. Yea more work for me...as if I didn't have enough stuff to pick up during the day.
Ok so I know that I'm ranting. She's 2 years old. Yeah I got that. I know this is all part of her developmental process and it is age appropriate. Yeah whatever. It's a stage...just stick with it. It will pass and she will begin some other annoying habit... blah blah blah. My mom is enjoying the payback for all the tricks I played on her as a kid. She keeps reminding me of this fact weekly. "Wait until she gets her period," she chants as she mocks me.
So getting back to my point- nap time isn't going so well at my house and neither is our ability to sleep past 5 AM on most mornings.
5 AM every morning we have a visitor who is very awake and alert and doesn't want to go back to sleep. "I no like my bed," she mutters. Oh well, that is where you sleep go back and come back in 2 hours. If only it was that easy.
And now the little munchkin has discovered that her new found freedom also allows her private access to her closet, her drawers, and all of her toys in her room. It looks like a tiny blizzard swept through her room. Yea more work for me...as if I didn't have enough stuff to pick up during the day.
Ok so I know that I'm ranting. She's 2 years old. Yeah I got that. I know this is all part of her developmental process and it is age appropriate. Yeah whatever. It's a stage...just stick with it. It will pass and she will begin some other annoying habit... blah blah blah. My mom is enjoying the payback for all the tricks I played on her as a kid. She keeps reminding me of this fact weekly. "Wait until she gets her period," she chants as she mocks me.
So getting back to my point- nap time isn't going so well at my house and neither is our ability to sleep past 5 AM on most mornings.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Bowl-O-Rama
We've joined an in-house bowling league... So far we are the best on the team. Thanks to our fabulous friends for giving this gift to Ava for her birthday we can play all day everyday...
A week's worth of birthday
Ava made out like a bandit for this birthday. We practically celebrated it every day last week. Tuesday was the official day and we spent it with her friends outside. The next day she let me put her hair in her very first ponytail. This was a rare occasion mainly because Ava only allows me to brush her hair when she gets out of the bath tub. Any other time she gives me the, "no no no" and ducts her head down or puts her hands in her hair to prevent me from brushing it. Thursday we had an all cartoon marathon...yes by the end of the day I thought I might actually go blind but thankfully Friday came and Grammie and Papa arrived.
Grammie and Papa always make for a great day. They brought balloons and coloring books and some other fun stuff. They brought all of us out to dinner where we all devoured ice cream cones and jello straight off of Papa's plate. Gotta love gettin' to eat Papa's meal...always better than their own. We came back to the house and the girls played until bedtime. Kissing Grammie goodnight is the best night of their lives. Kissing Dave and I compares probably to kissing the dog. We're no fun :(
Then Saturday Ava's friends all came to her birthday party and had a great time. She ran around like crazy in her tutu, loved the balloons, played on the slide and the swing, played in the dirt...yes she loves to play in the dirt so that was a BIG deal, and she ate and ate- cake, cup cakes, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and CHIPS...the other big favorite. Of course she received plenty of really cool gifts from her friends too. All in all the day was fabulous, Ava enjoyed herself, and I think that this birthday she had a good idea of what was going on and that it was about her so it was fun.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Ava's 2 Years Old
You say it's your birthday..it's my birthday too !!!
Happy to you,
Happy to you Ava,
Happy to you.
That's how she likes Happy Birthday sung...
This is Ava's beautiful wake up face on her 2nd birthday. She looks excited!
Her friends called to take her to breakfast. It was a blast! She ate some pancakes, eggs, sausage, the works!
Mommy and Ava kickin' back at the restaurant...
And here's Ava struttin' her stuff playing street soccer. She can really dribble the ball.
A while later we went to the store and bought some cupcakes so after all the kids naps they can play outside, sing happy birthday, and eat cake. What a great day!
Happy to you Ava,
Happy to you.
That's how she likes Happy Birthday sung...
This is Ava's beautiful wake up face on her 2nd birthday. She looks excited!
Her friends called to take her to breakfast. It was a blast! She ate some pancakes, eggs, sausage, the works!
Mommy and Ava kickin' back at the restaurant...
And here's Ava struttin' her stuff playing street soccer. She can really dribble the ball.
A while later we went to the store and bought some cupcakes so after all the kids naps they can play outside, sing happy birthday, and eat cake. What a great day!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Just when you think it's safe to go back into the water
I become a complete mess. I have no idea what happened today but unlike most of my friends- I am not on Prozac... but really should be. Apparently they all got the memo of how to keep your sanity.
Call it pregnancy hormones- oh wait I'm not pregnant, call it the twinkie defense- humm I don't eat Twinkies either, ok so let's just call me crazy- that pretty much sums it up anyway. So today started out like any other Monday, Ava awakened at 5:30 am which meant I was up at 5:30 am. We laid in bed until 6:30 am where I received a professional massage which included such maneuvers like the eye gouge or "look mommy-eye," the slap and tickle (remove your mind from the gutter because it is so not what you are thinking) "look mommy see lovie, I tick you" which means I get whacked in the face with the lovie and she scratches my face with her scary fingernails, and then there's the pee pee fake out. The pee pee fake out is typically the last straw. It's Ava's opportunity to test me to see if I will get out of bed so she can go pee except 'go pee' actually translates into her running down the hallway to wake up Olivia. So today began with an bang. Woo Hoo.
We soon traveled downstairs and ate breakfast and got dressed. I ran a load of laundry and replied to an email while gulping down my coffee. The girls were being so good playing together and flipping through their books that I decided we should get in the car and go to Pump it up. So far so good right? So you'd think. We went and played and had a great time. Ava climbed the slide ladder for the first time and went down the slide all by herself. I was a nervous wreck watching her climb up the steep ladder but she wanted to try and I felt she deserved the opportunity. It worked out and she was proud of herself- all's still good right? Yip. So we went home.
We walked into the house and the girls began playing QUIETLY at their table with some toys. It is the only place in the kitchen they are allowed to play otherwise they have to play in the living room. Probably 30 minutes had passed and I had just finished folding the laundry so I thought to myself that before I take the basket upstairs I'll call Dave really quickly and tell him about how Ava went up and down the slide by herself. The minute I said hello to him they jumped up from the table. Olivia ran right over to the counter and started grabbing things off while singing as loud as possible and Ava headed to her workbench to begin her project which of course meant picking the loudest toy and keeping her finger on the button. WHY ME?
I lost it and scolded them both for acting out while I was on the phone. Every time I am on the phone or it rings the entire aura in the room changes. The girls become whiny and loud. EVERY TIME. I realize they are kids and need a lot of attention, but I had just spent an hour and a half playing with them in the bouncers. Beyond that I am with them every minute of every hour of every freakin day. I read to them, bathe them, brush their hair and teeth, snuggle them, love all over them, and wipe their butts. Can I not have 1 five minute phone call to myself where I don't have to go into the garage and sit in the Suburban? Am I really asking a lot? Apparently they think so.
I hung up with Dave because now the fun and exciting news that I was going to share with him had been smothered by my scolding. I apologized to the girls for overreacting and went up stairs with the laundry. I sat down in my chair and lost it. I felt like my only connection with the outside world had just been snuffed out by the little rulers of what was once my kingdom. It's like I have no say in anything anymore. My thrown has been overturned and the new rulers are greedy little runts. It really is their way or no way. So as I grieved for the loss of my sanity, well-being, and general welfare I came to the resolution that Olivia will be going to preschool and I will be getting some freedom back.
It's hard taking two small kids to places where I need to think things over such as the grocery store. They start fighting about something and then my main goal becomes getting the essentials and just getting out the door. Lately I've just stopped going unless it's the weekend and Dave can stay at home with them. This makes the week seem even longer if we don't get out of the house. And then at home I can't do anything without someone lingering around asking me what I am doing, or trying to get into the bathroom to pull all of the paper off the roll while I am trying to use the bathroom, or screaming when the phone rings, or sticking their fingers in any food I am eating. I even went to the point of buying these really really hot chips so no one would want any but the girls hovered over me and begged for them. They ate them and then drank lots of water and then asked for more. You are kidding me right? Your mouths are on fire yet you both want more...ugg.
Sanity gone- check. New not nice personality emerging-check. All work and no play making mommy lose her mind-check. If I were rich I'd hire a nanny for a few hours a day, a few days of the week. OBVIOUSLY I am not rich and this is in fact my life. I can deal probably not as well as my friends on Prozac who got the memo but I can deal. Most days I am just fine but today things just went bad. Dave cheered me up afterwards by sending me an e-thinking of you- card and telling me everything's fine and that he loved me. I felt better and took the girls outside to play with their friends.
Call it pregnancy hormones- oh wait I'm not pregnant, call it the twinkie defense- humm I don't eat Twinkies either, ok so let's just call me crazy- that pretty much sums it up anyway. So today started out like any other Monday, Ava awakened at 5:30 am which meant I was up at 5:30 am. We laid in bed until 6:30 am where I received a professional massage which included such maneuvers like the eye gouge or "look mommy-eye," the slap and tickle (remove your mind from the gutter because it is so not what you are thinking) "look mommy see lovie, I tick you" which means I get whacked in the face with the lovie and she scratches my face with her scary fingernails, and then there's the pee pee fake out. The pee pee fake out is typically the last straw. It's Ava's opportunity to test me to see if I will get out of bed so she can go pee except 'go pee' actually translates into her running down the hallway to wake up Olivia. So today began with an bang. Woo Hoo.
We soon traveled downstairs and ate breakfast and got dressed. I ran a load of laundry and replied to an email while gulping down my coffee. The girls were being so good playing together and flipping through their books that I decided we should get in the car and go to Pump it up. So far so good right? So you'd think. We went and played and had a great time. Ava climbed the slide ladder for the first time and went down the slide all by herself. I was a nervous wreck watching her climb up the steep ladder but she wanted to try and I felt she deserved the opportunity. It worked out and she was proud of herself- all's still good right? Yip. So we went home.
We walked into the house and the girls began playing QUIETLY at their table with some toys. It is the only place in the kitchen they are allowed to play otherwise they have to play in the living room. Probably 30 minutes had passed and I had just finished folding the laundry so I thought to myself that before I take the basket upstairs I'll call Dave really quickly and tell him about how Ava went up and down the slide by herself. The minute I said hello to him they jumped up from the table. Olivia ran right over to the counter and started grabbing things off while singing as loud as possible and Ava headed to her workbench to begin her project which of course meant picking the loudest toy and keeping her finger on the button. WHY ME?
I lost it and scolded them both for acting out while I was on the phone. Every time I am on the phone or it rings the entire aura in the room changes. The girls become whiny and loud. EVERY TIME. I realize they are kids and need a lot of attention, but I had just spent an hour and a half playing with them in the bouncers. Beyond that I am with them every minute of every hour of every freakin day. I read to them, bathe them, brush their hair and teeth, snuggle them, love all over them, and wipe their butts. Can I not have 1 five minute phone call to myself where I don't have to go into the garage and sit in the Suburban? Am I really asking a lot? Apparently they think so.
I hung up with Dave because now the fun and exciting news that I was going to share with him had been smothered by my scolding. I apologized to the girls for overreacting and went up stairs with the laundry. I sat down in my chair and lost it. I felt like my only connection with the outside world had just been snuffed out by the little rulers of what was once my kingdom. It's like I have no say in anything anymore. My thrown has been overturned and the new rulers are greedy little runts. It really is their way or no way. So as I grieved for the loss of my sanity, well-being, and general welfare I came to the resolution that Olivia will be going to preschool and I will be getting some freedom back.
It's hard taking two small kids to places where I need to think things over such as the grocery store. They start fighting about something and then my main goal becomes getting the essentials and just getting out the door. Lately I've just stopped going unless it's the weekend and Dave can stay at home with them. This makes the week seem even longer if we don't get out of the house. And then at home I can't do anything without someone lingering around asking me what I am doing, or trying to get into the bathroom to pull all of the paper off the roll while I am trying to use the bathroom, or screaming when the phone rings, or sticking their fingers in any food I am eating. I even went to the point of buying these really really hot chips so no one would want any but the girls hovered over me and begged for them. They ate them and then drank lots of water and then asked for more. You are kidding me right? Your mouths are on fire yet you both want more...ugg.
Sanity gone- check. New not nice personality emerging-check. All work and no play making mommy lose her mind-check. If I were rich I'd hire a nanny for a few hours a day, a few days of the week. OBVIOUSLY I am not rich and this is in fact my life. I can deal probably not as well as my friends on Prozac who got the memo but I can deal. Most days I am just fine but today things just went bad. Dave cheered me up afterwards by sending me an e-thinking of you- card and telling me everything's fine and that he loved me. I felt better and took the girls outside to play with their friends.
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